I love the smell of drunks in the morning....

Today I woke up at 5AM, put on my work clothes, and went out to my car to head off to work like I do every morning.  What do I find but some drunk kid passed out in the driver's seat of my car.  I opened my door and asked him if he needed a ride somewhere.

"I'm staying right here.  I'm too drunk"
Obviously.
"You can't stay here," I said, "This is my car."
"No it's my car, I'm staying right here"  the drunk guy insisted.
"No, it's my car, and I have to go to work" I said, wondering how to get rid of him, short of dumping him in the snowbank.
"No, it's my car, these are all my cars" he exclaimed, gesturing to the empty parking lot.
"Oh, I see..." I said, closing the door, realizing that this conversation was going nowhere.

I live in a small town, where the cops only work during the day.  (Seriously who needs the cops during the day, they should be on at night when the crime really happens!)  So I had to call 911 to get a cop to come and pick up the drunk.  I would have just pulled the guy out, but I was worried he might actually have a car somewhere and decide to drive off, which he definitely wasn't in any shape to do.

I called 911 and the operator couldn't hear me, bad reception or something I suppose.  So I'm running around the parking lot saying "Can you hear me now?  Can you hear me now?" 
Eventually she did.

This is the story of the man who called the operator, who send the policeman, who picked up the drunk, that slept in the car that Jack built...

Er, something like that.